This past week in a men’s bible study that I attend, we were talking about revival. It was kindof spurred by what recently had been happening in Asbury University when an alter call led to a 2 week worship experience where tens of thousands of people disrupted the entire city to experience something unprecedented; a revival. So we started talking about what revival meant and what imagery we thought of - and as I sat there listening and letting the word kinda ruminate inside me, I was getting stuck on the definition -
revival: an improvement in the condition of strength of something. - an instance of something becoming active, or important again.
As the men in my small group were talking, the initial thoughts were of reviving (like back to life) - then we started looking at Nehemiah and the story of the people of Israel were returning to Jerusalem after years of exile in captivity - all because they disobeyed and God stuck to his word and they spent 70 years away from Him essentially. Although he always knew them and watched them, they had to go through the lowest of lows to get to the point that they’re at in the books of Ezra and Nehemiah. They’ve rebuilt the temple and the city walls. They’ve started trying to restore the ministry of the priests under the leadership of Ezra. Then in Nehemiah the story comes to fruition with revival. In Nehemiah 8:5-8 we read:
Ezra stood on the platform in full view of all the people. When they saw him open the book, they all rose to their feet. Then Ezra praised the Lord, the great God, and all the people chanted, “Amen! Amen!” as they lifted their hands. Then they bowed down and worshiped the Lord with their faces to the ground. The Levites—Jeshua, Bani, Sherebiah, Jamin, Akkub, Shabbethai, Hodiah, Maaseiah, Kelita, Azariah, Jozabad, Hanan, and Pelaiah—then instructed the people in the Law while everyone remained in their places. They read from the Book of the Law of God and clearly explained the meaning of what was being read, helping the people understand each passage.
So Ezra led his people through a revival. The people that he was speaking to were generations out of the scripture being something that was written on their hearts. We’re talking 70 years in exile, thinking that God had left them completely. These people were coming into this teaching with wide eyes. The people who chanted “Amen! Amen” were likely hearing the words from the Book of the Law and the Holy Spirit was inciting something deep in their souls that reminded them just what it meant to be His children. This moment of revival for the people of Israel was a collective experience (much like in Asbury) - the fact that they were all-together was pivotal for the Holy Spirit to work in them…. And this is where my brain took over and I started to wander and wonder about my revival moments… so let me take you back…
Sometimes I forget just how much my soul craves interpersonal connection. I’ve always naturally been more introverted and shy unless I’m around people that I feel safe with or I’m in my comfort zone. Oftentimes it takes me quite a while to work up to a place where I feel safe. I was into my sophmore year of high school before I felt like I had a safe place, where I could be, well, me. My mom and I had just switched churches after an invitation from someone that my mom worked with. We went one Sunday morning, and then the next, and the one after that and we both felt like it was just right for us. My mom wanted me to be involved with the youth program, so she told me to go meet the youth pastor and ask where they met. I can still remember my apprehension, it was almost palpable. I had a rock in the bottom of my stomach just thinking about walking up to someone I didn’t know and asking them a question - but I did it, and my life dramatically changed after that moment.
I found the youth pastor, Betsy, and asked her about youth group. I’m sure I was staring at the ground afraid to make eye-contact when I asked, but her answer still sticks with me to this day even as benign as it was when she told me it was at her house and “I’m glad you’ll be coming tonight.” — I remember thinking afterwards, how is she glad? She doesn’t know me… So i went that night, and 2 of my best-friends from high school were there, and I could feel my nerves just wash away as I stepped into Betsy’s house. Her home became an instant safe place for me, and it was always a place where I could go if I ever needed anything; a kind word, a gentle hug, a long theological discussion, a moment of silence. Her home was where I first discovered that connecting with people was something that every person needed to survive life. It wasn’t just the fact that having friends and colleagues was something that would help you in life that made them important. It’s that these connections were pivotal to my faith growing - and that growth started in the moment. It was act of being surrounded by lost and searching people and being taught what the bible said that was the foundation of my faith. This is where I equate my life to that of the Isrealites before they were exiled for being disobedient. They were close to God, they knew His Word …. but they didn’t really know how magnificent he was - and neither did I.
Fast forward a year or so, and I had started to see Betsy and her husband Bill as honorary parents and mentors. I often went to either of them whenever I was struggling with something. Through them I was introduced to so many faith growing moments, and other people of strong faith. I always felt that Bill took me under his wing and tried to help fill the void I had with my actual dad - and he helped introduce me to the other men who had such profound impact on my life that I named all three of my sons after them. It’s been thanks to them that I had learned that growing your faith was all about the long game, it’s not something that would happen in a moment - but when those moments happen and your standing on top of the mountain wrapped in a spirit so warm and inviting - that’s when you soak it all in and burn that feeling into your heart and mind so you can strive to get to the next moment like it. These are the revival moments where you can feel it in the air.
My first revival moment was when I was a junior in high school. I participated in a lock-in with our youth group, where we fasted for 30 hours together and served in the community. After the 30 hours of fasting, we gathered in the church sanctuary and the pastor gave a quick message and we all partook in communion. Normally the seniors would act as the communion servers, but none had attended that year - so Betsy asked me to do it. I felt completely out of my comfort zone in that moment. Betsy told me the words I needed to say, so I just repeated them blankly as students walked through my line. But as I said the words, I started to feel something and there was this sensation building in me but I couldn’t name it: I was anxious, I was tingly, I was happy, I was sad.
With each person that came through, I started to unconsciously speak the words with more passion and this sensation just kept growing inside me but I didn’t know what to do with it. Once we finished serving communion, I returned my trays and walked up to Betsy with tears welling up and this overwhelming feeling just churning in my gut and I truly believe that the Holy Spirit was whispering to her to as she looked at me and said:
He loves you Matthew. He gave his life just for you, and will always pursue you.
I lost it…. I went and sat back down in the pew, completely wrecked on the inside. I was ugly crying and Bill came up behind me and simply laid his hand on my shoulder. I was surrounded in that moment. I was on the highest mountain looking out at a cloudless sky. I was floating in the calmest ocean. I was dancing in a warm spring rain. I was watching as lightning crackled across the sky. I was, in that moment, in the midst of something awesome and overwhelming. I was in the middle of my own personal revival. Like the definition of revival states - an instance of something becoming active, OR important again - I was in a moment where my faith was active and overwhelming. It was suddenly stronger than it had ever been. It was real, and it was this moment that I wanted nothing more than to bask in Him.
Over the last decade or two, I’ve found myself in these moments again and again, when He is working in my heart to bring me to a deeper understanding and a closer walk with him. I’m by no means an expert in faith, nor do I have a faith so strong that I don’t waver. I don’t have a faith strong enough to move mountains - but I know that the revival moments in my life are the moments to hold onto and they help me realize that my story is still happening - I’m not at the end yet.
I feel like when we hear about a revival, we think that it’s this onetime thing. A revival happens, and then it’s done and everybody gets to just go back on with their lives, right? Truly, revival is something that should happen over and over again in your hearts as your faith grows. Going back to Nehemiah, the people celebrated for days, praising the Lord through it all. They followed the lead of the spirit and stepped into a deeper understanding of God - they came with reverence and awe. Their revival was their first step towards becoming obedient to God’s leadership again. They had spent so much time away from him that they needed to be reminded that he was in control and he wanted to lead them back to his love and mercy. But just because they had this experience in Nehemiah, doesn’t mean that they’re journey was done - it’s that they were recommitting to a life-long journey with God to know him and to honor him again and again, every day.
